With You
by MadKatMom
Summary: Post-Ep for Countdown. I know there are already a thousand post-ep stories, but this is my take. Story starts a few seconds before the end of the episode.
1. Chapter 1

**_Authors Note: _** _**This is my first 'Castle' fan fiction story. I had not planned on writing one at all, but this story would NOT leave me alone. So I finally had to sit down and type it out. The chapters will generally switch POV, but it will be obvious which characters it is. I hope you enjoy it!**_

_**Standard disclaimers apply.**** All Feedback is welcome.**_**  
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**With You**

He'd never realized how many steps there were to the elevator until now. He was walking away from Beckett, leaving her in the arms of Josh. Moments before he'd been about to say something profound. He wasn't sure what it was, but he'd known that it was important. After nearly dying with her three times in twenty-four hours, he felt like there were so many things that he _needed_ to say to her. But as he was speaking he'd seen Josh walking toward them. And in that second Richard Castle decided to be a gentleman, and had simply said he'd needed to go home and walked away. Leaving her with what she professed to want. She wanted her and Josh to 'have a chance'. And in one of the few purely unselfish desires he had, he truly just wanted her to be happy.

So he walked away.

Each step getting harder and harder to take, he continued to put one foot in front of the other, making his way to the elevator. He felt as though there was some invisible force trying to pull him back to the place that he'd just been, back to Beckett. But he ignored it and kept walking, step by step, until he'd reached the elevator. He stepped on, leaned against the back wall, and very pointedly did not look over at Beckett and Josh wrapped in each others arms.


	2. Chapter 2

She watched him walking away. Keeping her eyes on him until he'd reached the elevator. Even once the doors had closed, and she could no longer see him, she stared that direction. There were so many things she'd felt the need to say to him. And it felt as though he had been about to say something very important to her.

Something she just _knew_ had the power to change both of their lives.

But he'd walked away instead. Now, standing in Josh's embrace she realized that he must have seen Josh walking up, and not wanting to make any waves, had said goodnight instead. Just like every other time it seemed he was going to say something important, he clammed up and chickened out instead. But this time was different! Three near death experiences in such a short time should have changed things, shouldn't it? What in the hell was he thinking starting a sentence like that, with that look on his face, and _not _finishing it?

She was astonished by the strength of the urge she felt to break away from Josh's hold and chase after Castle. To demand he tell her what he'd been about to say. But she restrained herself. It was easily one of the most difficult things she'd ever done, but she managed it. Instead she allowed herself to be led away by Josh, who was murmuring comforting things in her ear as they walked.


	3. Chapter 3

He was sitting in the dark at his desk staring at the blank screen of his laptop. He could no longer remember how long he'd been sitting there. His initial thought was to try and write more on his current Nikki Heat book. But every time he thought about his character, he thought about Beckett. And one of four images would pop into his head: standing in the quarantine tent; being in the freezer; standing next to the bomb; and her wrapped in Josh's arms. Each scene was a different kind of hell. Therefore nothing had been written.

He was still cold from nearly freezing to death in a giant freezer. And it wasn't the usual being chilly from the outside kind of cold either. He felt as if the very blood pumping through his veins was frozen. And was imagining that little ice crystals were currently floating through his bloodstream. He knew he should get up and get a blanket or make something warm to drink and sit by the fire. That's what he knew he should do, but he couldn't seem to make himself care enough to actually get up and do it.

So he sat, freezing cold down to the tips of his toes, staring at a blank computer screen and trying not to think about the fact that the only place he really wanted to be was with Beckett.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know the chapters have been short so far, but it's just how I ended up writing it, so that's how I posted. They should get longer as we go on.**

Beckett sat on the couch in her apartment wondering if it meant anything that she had no urge to cry? She and Josh had just broken up and she could feel no sorrow for the end of the relationship. That had to mean something, didn't it? That a relationship she had put so much emotion and effort into was over should cause some type of reaction, shouldn't it? But all she could seem to feel was relief that she wouldn't have to work so hard at it anymore.

Josh had brought her home that evening and been so sweet. He'd run out and gotten her the biggest serving of baked spaghetti she'd ever seen, a whole loaf of piping hot garlic bread and a gallon of coffee hot enough to scald the taste buds off of her tongue. He'd wrapped her in a blanket, and handed her a plate full of steaming food and made small talk while she ate.

For the first ten minutes or so she didn't really listen to what he was saying. She was too busy eating, trying to warm up and being thankful to be alive to pay attention. Which always brought her thought process back to Castle. If he hadn't been with her when she'd found the bomb she, and thousands of other people would be dead right now. Because she wouldn't have even thought to yank all of the wires out of the bomb. So when she finally tuned in to what Josh was saying, she was quite surprised to hear him talking about going to Haiti next month. Apparently him not going now was only a temporary reprieve.

It took her only a second, if that long, to decide they were over. She just couldn't put so much effort into a relationship with someone who wasn't even in the country half the time. That's not exactly how she put it to him though. She said more that she didn't think it was fair of her to ask him to give up his passion, but she needed someone to be there. And it couldn't be him. They both had a passion for their work and they both needed someone who could love that about them. And as much as she liked him and enjoyed his company, they just weren't right for each other.

He actually took it rather well. Admitting that she was probably right. The last thing he said, which made her smile but not regret her decision, was that he was glad she was alive.

So here she sat on her couch, still cold despite the hot food and blanket, wondering why she wasn't upset. And thinking that sitting on her couch alone was not the place she wanted to be.

**I want to thank everyone who did a story alert for this story! You guys rock! I also want to send a special THANK YOU to Tango Mike Charlie for being my first and only reviewer!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**First of all, I just want to say a big 'Thank You' to everyone who read my story! And a HUGE 'Thank You' to everyone who reviewed it! You guys seriously made my day! I love hearing my phone go off that I have new mail and it's a review! Second of all, I want to apologize for this chapter taking so long! I had a really difficult time writing it. I couldn't seem to make it go where I wanted it to go, and I'm still not entirely happy with it. So please let me know what you think. Also, please make sure to read my note at the end of this chapter! Thanks!**_

**Standard Disclaimers Apply! Basically, I own nothing!**

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The sound of soft tapping startled Castle out of his misery. It was so soft that he was starting to question whether he'd imagined it or not, when he heard it again. Not giving a thought to his scruffy appearance, he headed toward the front door. He expected to see just about anyone on the other side of the door but the person who actually was. He thought perhaps a deliveryman at the wrong apartment, or perhaps a visitor on the wrong floor, but he did not expect to see Katherine Beckett standing at his front door. In his startled and confused state he simply stood there staring at her with his mouth slightly agape.

Beckett stood very uncertainly on the other side of the threshold and took in Castle's appearance. It took her a moment to realize that he was still wearing the same clothes he'd changed into hours ago, after they'd diffused the bomb. It was the second set of clothes they'd both lost due to radiation exposure in as many days. For some reason his scruffy look and obvious lack of care for himself snapped her out of her uncertainty. It was two o'clock in the morning, he should have at least gotten out of his suit!

"Castle, what the hell are you doing?"

He seemed to have to think about that for a moment before he answered: "What am _I_ doing Detective Beckett? You're the one standing at my front door so late in the evening."

"Evening? Castle what time do you think it is?"

"I don't know, around 10 or 11?"

"Castle, it's 2 am. What have you been doing?" Beckett asks as he steps back and lets her into the apartment. She shuts the door and follows as he walks away. She'd never seen him like this and it was starting to concern her.

"Um, I was writing. Or at least trying too." He said waving his arm in the general direction of his office.

He turns to face her and their eyes meet across the room. They stand there like that for several moments, the look on both of their faces saying the same thing: I am so glad you are alive! The weight and stress of the last few days can almost be felt as another presence in the room. But the moment quickly passes and seems to bring Castle out of his unusual mood.

"But since it's apparently so late, I guess I should eat something. Are you hungry Detective?" He asks walking to the kitchen.

Beckett stood there for several seconds before deciding to follow him. Although she shouldn't be hungry after all the food she'd eaten earlier, she found she was. Figuring that after three near death experiences she deserved to eat however much she wanted.

"Sure Castle, what do you have?" She asked perching herself on a barstool and propping her chin on her hand waiting for him to turn around from the refrigerator. When he did he seemed almost surprised to see her there. He recovered quickly, but she'd seen it. While it confused her she didn't press it.

"How about omelets? I have pretty much everything to make whatever kind you'd like."

"Sure that sounds great. Ham, cheese and onion, please?"

"Coming right up. Would you like some hot chocolate too? Not sure about you, but I'm still cold." He gave a little shudder to emphasis his point, which made Beckett smile.

"Sure that sounds great."

They fell into a companionable silence as Castle set about getting the skillet and saucepan out to make the food. He added the milk to the saucepan, because if you're going to make hot chocolate you have to make it right, then started beating the eggs. Once he had the eggs on he set about chopping the ham and onions. He'd already decided to make himself the same kind of omelet just to save time.

Beckett watched him as he moved around the kitchen and made their food. As always, she was a little amazed at how competent he was in the kitchen. But she knew he'd done all of the cooking when Alexis was little and her mother had left. She almost said something when he cracked _four_ eggs into a bowl for her omelet, but decided against it. She knew he was just trying to take care of her. And while the tough, strong, hard-working NYPD Detective would have probably resented it, the "We've nearly died three times" and recently broken up Beckett didn't really mind. It surprised her a little that it didn't bother her, but not enough to really focus on it.

She watched as Castle pulled the hot chocolate off of the stove and turned his back to her to finish it. He turned back around and handed her a giant, steaming mug of chocolaty goodness. She took a sip and immediately felt warmer. It was really good, probably the best hot chocolate she'd ever had. Taking another, larger sip, she realized that it wasn't just chocolate. There was another decadent flavor mixed in.

"Castle, what is in this? It's wonderful!"

He glanced up at her with an extremely pleased look on his face. "It's caramel."

"Caramel? Just caramel? Because this is possibly the best hot chocolate I've ever had." He still looked so pleased and she couldn't figure out why. And then he started to explain and it became very obvious why he had such a goofy grin on his face.

"Yes, caramel. My mother discovered adding it to hot chocolate when Alexis was little and was hooked. While I was away doing book tours, Mother would always come and stay with Alexis. I couldn't very well go gallivanting around the country with a six year old! Well, Mother fixed it for her one night and Alexis was immediately hooked as well." He paused with a wistful look on his face that told Beckett he was remembering years gone by and Alexis as a little girl. He shook his head to bring himself back to the present and continued: "We spent years, and I have no idea how much money, trying to find the perfect caramel sauce! Now she pretty much refuses to drink hot chocolate unless it has caramel in it. The barista's at coffee houses always give her a funny look when she orders it and asks them to put caramel in."

The mention of Martha and Alexis reminded Beckett that she hadn't seen them. Hesitant to ask, but needing to know, she said: "Where are Martha and Alexis?"

"Oh, they stayed in the Hampton's. It was only one more day of school. I told them to go shopping on me, so they were quick to agree." He answered with a laugh.

So it was just the two of them, in his huge apartment, all alone.

"Can you watch this?" Castle asked lifting the omelet pan up. "I'm going to go get out of this suit and put on some sweats. And maybe three pairs of wool socks." He finished shivering.

Beckett laughed at that and said: "Yeah, of course."

He walked out of the kitchen and she walked around the island to the stove. Hers was finished a few minutes later so she took it out and threw his in. In less time than she would have thought he came back into the kitchen looking much more comfortable in a pair of sweats and socks. Though she couldn't tell how many pairs he had on. Once again he seemed surprised that she was there. While the curiosity was eating at her, she decided not to ask.

"Mine was finished so I put yours in." She said relinquishing the stove back to him.

"Great, thanks. You go ahead and dig in."

"No, that's ok, I'll wait for you. Where are we eating? Can I set anything up?"

"How about the living room? We can eat and then watch a movie. I still have the screen up."

"Sounds great. But nothing serious, ok? Something funny. I think we've had more than enough seriousness the last few days to last us a year."

He nodded in agreement and she walked out to set up the living room with napkins, silverware and their drinks. A few moments later he joined her in the living room with their food. Again, he seemed almost surprised to see her standing in his living room, but he hid it quickly. He handed her the plate with a flourish and they both settled on the couch. Much closer together than they normally would have been, but not close enough to bump arms as they ate.

They sat and ate in a companionable silence for several minutes before Castle could no longer hold back the question that he'd wanted to ask her since she walked through his door.

"So what happened to Josh? I know you two left together, I figured you'd still be with him." Castle asked while looking at his plate. He was waiting for her to tell him to butt out and didn't want to see the look on her face when she said it.

Beckett cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and simply said: "Josh and I broke up."

Castle nearly choked on his food and dropped his plate at her revelation. Not able to think of anything better to say, he finally looked at her and asked: "What happened?"

"I just realized that I couldn't be in a relationship, not the kind of relationship I wanted anyway, with someone who's not even in the country half the year! Don't get me wrong, what he's doing is noble, and I absolutely respect him for that, but I need someone to be there. And it just couldn't be him." She'd been looking at her plate during her explanation and finally looked up at him when she finished. Their eyes met and held for several seconds before Castle finally broke the silence. And proved himself to actually be a gentleman.

"After everything that's happened the last few days, do you really think that making that kind of decision is a good idea? What we went through was very intense. I'd hate for you to have made such a decision while in shock."

Beckett smiled at him, and thought to herself what a really decent man he really was, and answered him with the truth.

"Sometimes I think clarity really reveals itself after a shock. Or three!" They both chuckled at that. It felt good to be able to laugh about it a little. "Honestly, Castle, I think we'd both known for a few weeks that it wasn't going to work. We are both too passionate about our jobs, and those jobs just didn't mesh."

Castle seemed to find this answer logical and said: "As long as you are sure and happy with your decision."

"I am."

Their eyes met again, only this time the air around them seemed charged with possibilities. Neither seemed willing explore them just yet and broke eye contact with each other almost simultaneously. They went back to eating in silence before Beckett finally asked the question that had been bugging her all night.

"I have a question for you now." Castle looked up from what was left of his omelet, prepared to answer. "Why do you seem so surprised to see me every time you walk back into the room?"

Castle was visibly shocked by the question, but recovered quickly. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said and started taking tiny bites of his omelet to make it last longer.

"Oh, yes you do. Every time you've walked back into a room I was in after being gone, you looked surprised to see me there. You covered it well, but I saw it. So out with it Castle."

Without looking up from his plate, he answered very quietly: "I expected you to still be with Josh, letting him comfort you. I certainly didn't expect you to be here. With my sleep-deprived brain, I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't imagining you being here."

Beckett seemed taken aback by his answer, but in lieu of responding simply nodded her head as though that answer made sense and would suffice. She then stood up with her empty plate and held her hand out for his: "Why don't I put these in the kitchen and you can pick out a movie and get it started?"

Castle nodded and handed her his plate. She headed into the kitchen to drop of the plates and returned quickly to see Castle popping in a dvd. He went to sit on the couch and patted the seat beside him.

"I don't know about you but I'm still cold. Do you have any extra blankets around here? The thicker the better?"

Castle pointed to a chest in the corner. Beckett found two fairly thick blankets in the chest, kicked off her shoes, and walked back to the couch.

"You know, two bodies are warmer than one." Castle said with a smirk but none of his usual innuendo. She knew he was probably still just as cold as she was, and was also right. Taking only a moment to think it over, Beckett sat down right next to him and threw both blankets over them. He held up his arm and she snuggled into him in a position reminiscent of how they'd been in the freezer. They were both almost instantly warmer. While it should have been an awkward position for the two of them, it just felt comfortable somehow. They sat snuggled in comfort as the dvd loaded. As soon as the main menu came up, Beckett burst out laughing.

"Scooby-Doo? Really? And the live action version, no less!"

"Well, you said something funny! This just seemed appropriate."

"I guess it is, Castle, I guess it is."

"Besides, I wanted to point out all of the similarities between you and Daphne." At that Beckett lightly punched his arm, to which he of course pretended to be injured, and they fell into silence as they watched the movie. Laughing occasionally, neither seemed to be in any hurry to move from their comfortable, snuggly position.

As the movie was coming to a close, they were both on the verge of falling asleep, when Castle asked one more burning question.

"Why did you come here tonight, Kate?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

Beckett, already half asleep, snuggled closer into him and mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. "Because Castle, I could only think of one place I wanted to be. And that was with you." She said and then promptly fell asleep.

Castle smiled at her answer, turned off the movie and then fell asleep himself. And that is where they remained for the rest of the night and most of the morning. Completely wrapped up together; Beckett laying halfway on top of Castle's chest; sound asleep on the couch covered in two huge blankets.

And finally warm.

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_**Ok, so this is where I had planned on ending this story. But since I've had such a good response, I'm considering making it longer. I have the idea for a few more chapters at least. I just need to know IF anyone wants me to continue? If you do, let me know either in a review or PM! Thanks again for reading!**_


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